Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Etiquette of the RSVP

Let's start with the meaning:  In English RSVP means "Please Respond".  The anagram is a French abbreviation for Repondez Vous Sil Vous Plait or "respond you please".

A little history:  As the seniors say, "in the olden days" people did not send response cards with their invitations.  Wedding invitations were answered in your own handwriting on your own stationery.  As people began to get busier they no longer had the time to write a written reply.  Since hosts and hostesses could not risk not receiving responses, they began to send reply cards with their invitations.  As more and more invitations were sent with reply cards, reply cards became more acceptable.  Today, they are sent with almost every wedding invitation.

There are many elements available when choosing how to present your response cards.  Traditionally, there is a response card and envelope.  If you want your guests to mail back the response cards, the envelopes must be pre-addressed and include the proper amount of postage.


If you are trying to cut down on costs another option would be post card style response card.  You can eliminate the response envelope and the postage is less.  While reply postcards are slightly less formal than response cards with envelopes, it’s still totally appropriate for a formal event.  Keep your post cards custom and coordinating by matching with the look and feel of your invitations. This really makes a big difference in the visual aspect of the cards as well as keeping them formal. 




Another modern development in wedding response cards is the option of allowing your guests to reply to an online wedding website. While not a traditional element, website response cards are very useful for your guests to respond, and provide additional information.

This option is more budget friendly because it gets rid of the response envelope and the return postage. There are a lot of wedding websites that are user friendly and free.  On the RSVP card you would direct your guests to visit your wedding website where they can reply online. This is an accurate way of getting a head count for your event which can be very helpful and cost effective if you are paying per person.  

Another reason why wedding websites are great is because you can provide more information to your guests that can sometimes be too much to add to your invitations such as information on other group events, accommodations, directions, local attractions, and miscellaneous information that might be useful to guests.

This can also help with the touchy subject of registry information which is considered to be very improper.  If you feel like you have to let people know where you are registered then you can list the information on your website. This is a much better way to get the word out.   




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